Dr. Shailesh Thaker - Best Management Training Blog - Top Management Consultants

Archive for November, 2009

I work in a restaurant that has a program working with ex-cons and the homeless. There is a guy who started working with us as a dish tanker and he told me his story one day.

He lived in Florida, (we are in Ohio now) and he received information that he owed child support on a 6-year-old boy. Well this was news to his ears because he didn’t even know he had a kid! He came to Ohio to clear this matter up and took a DNA test that determined that the kid was his. He was PROMPTLY put in jail for owing over $19,000 in back child support. He stayed in jail for 9 months and when he was released, he was homeless, jobless.

Instead of giving up on his kid and going back to Florida where he had plenty of family and help, he stayed in Ohio and used assistance from the Government to get into a program at the YMCA. He got a job at my restaurant and 3 weeks after getting his job, he met his son for the first time. So, I asked him, “What’s it like living at the YMCA and knowing you have a boy out there?”

He said he stayed in Ohio because he could not bear to leave a piece of himself here undiscovered. He liked living at the YMCA because they were helping him have a relationship with the boy. The only thing he did not like was that he didn’t have a T.V. or a microwave. Therefore, I got on free cycle and I found him a T.V. and a microwave. My friend, Chuckled, gave me a ride to pick up the microwave, and a nice Chinese lady dropped the T.V. off at my house. I took them to work and made this guy’s day. (Eric, is his name BTW and he was grateful.)

A month later, I got called into the office at work the other day. My general manager and an assistant were sitting there wanting to have a “talk” with me. Of course, I was nervous, as you have two people present to get fired, and I was thinking, “What could I have done wrong?”

The general manager, Steve, went into his speech. “Melanie, there was an incident that occurred here around December that involved you. Can you think of what I’m talking about?” I was thinking, and shaking my head, No? In addition, Steve said, “Well it involved you getting a microwave and a T.V. for Eric, do you recall that?” I said, “Yes?”

Steve said, “Once a month we pick an employee who has gone above and beyond to help out a fellow employee or customer. We put their names in a pool and write up reasons why we think this person is deserving. I picked you, because I just thought it was so awesome that you thought of helping someone out just for the sake of being helpful! The General Managers vote on the person they think is most deserving, and you won!”

At this point, I was about to faint because I thought I was getting fired and Steve presented me with a name tag, with MY name especially made just for me!! You may ask, “Why is she so excited that she got a name tag for giving someone a T.V. and a microwave?” My answer? Because it felt good to help someone in need and in the end no matter WHAT the recognition, the point is I was recognized! My good deed produced another one! Good Deeds are contagious!

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Xed some more stuff that I was carrying. Still the satisfaction was a little less. Hence, I decided to buy a good meal and find someone, and give it to that person. I decided to buy dinner for myself but give it to someone needier and miss out my dinner for the day. This was an inspiration I never had before. But, somehow it clicked.

There weren’t any beggars around for the next three or four blocks and I was wondering whom I would give the food to. I found one but he refused to take food, as he needed only money. I found another person, but by the time I could approach him he went away.

But, I had a feeling someone would come. Then, I found a lady sitting on one corner of the road. I asked her if she would like to eat something and she agreed. I told her I would be back just in a moment.  Just opposite to where she sat, I found a good place to buy food. I purchased nice pizza and cake. I went back and gave the entire package to her. I assumed she would be excited and start eating at once but instead she just kept the package and started asking for money. I added some money as well and went off.

After this as I walked home and later I felt a surge of satisfaction I never experienced before. I didn’t feel hungry though I hadn’t eaten much the whole day. This was a unique, deep feeling, I felt a little uplifted from my normal self and very peaceful within.

This is what happens when we give what we actually need. I never got that feeling by doing any other action and I am sure those beautiful moments are worth any sacrifice. What I got was much more than what I gave.

One afternoon, I joined Charity Focus folks to distribute food to homeless people. We went around a few streets in Manhattan. I was at the office in the morning, a little overloaded with work, and had plans to travel back to India. Still, I wanted to take part in this activity in the afternoon. We gathered at a coffee shop and other members of the group came with lots of food packaged properly for distributing.

The first person we offered food, cried at the gesture of lovingly been offered food. This was an emotional moment for all of us and really touched me. After this, the rest of our food distribution happened at a particular place near Port Authority where many such needy people sit. Here the food was distributed quickly with a crowd surrounding us and receiving our packets. Our activity got over by 5:00 p.m. and we started back to our homes.

However, I was still feeling the need to do more. I distributed some more stuff that I was carrying. Still the satisfaction was a little less. Hence, I decided to buy a good meal and find someone, and give it to that person. I decided to buy dinner for myself but give it to someone needier and miss out my dinner for the day. This was an inspiration I never had before. But, somehow it clicked.

There weren’t any beggars around for the next three or four blocks and I was wondering whom I would give the food to. I found one but he refused to take food, as he needed only money. I found another person, but by the time I could approach him he went away.

But, I had a feeling someone would come. Then, I found a lady sitting on one corner of the road. I asked her if she would like to eat something and she agreed. I told her I would be back just in a moment.  Just opposite to where she sat, I found a good place to buy food. I purchased nice pizza and cake. I went back and gave the entire package to her. I assumed she would be excited and start eating at once but instead she just kept the package and started asking for money. I added some money as well and went off.

After this as I walked home and later I felt a surge of satisfaction I never experienced before. I didn’t feel hungry though I hadn’t eaten much the whole day. This was a unique, deep feeling, I felt a little uplifted from my normal self and very peaceful within.

This is what happens when we give what we actually need. I never got that feeling by doing any other action and I am sure those beautiful moments are worth any sacrifice. What I got was much more than what I gave.

Tying the knot makes men feel happy to the worth of 18,000 pounds while women experience the joy worth only half the amount.

Paul Frijters, Queensland University of Technology, has estimated the value of happiness in terms of cash for the major events in life like marriage, divorce and illness. Each of the events shows different results for men and women.

While divorce leaves men feeling a loss of 61,500 pounds, for women it was just a loss of 5,000 pounds. The birth of a child created a low cash amount, about 18,000 pounds for a man and less than 5,000 pounds for a woman.

According to the findings, the death of a partner or a child creates the feeling of a loss of 73,000 pounds to a woman and more than 3,50,000 pounds for a man.

Losing a loved one has a much bigger effect than gaining a loved one. There is an asymmetry between life and death. This shouldn’t surprise us. Human beings seem to notice losses more than gains.

Pay cuts, layoffs and unemployment - recession couldn’t have been worse. On top of this, if you have a bad boss you might have a tough time surviving. But, an expert is claiming that bad and evil bosses are better suited for recession.

Scott Adams, the Creator of Dilbert, the cartoon strip that adds a comic element to 2,000 solemn newspapers across 70 countries, has discovered merit in evil bosses. Adams is convinced that difficult bosses can be good, as they help spawn entrepreneurs. “The worse bosses are, the better it is for the economy. In the old days people were born entrepreneurs, but today people are forced into entrepreneurship whether they like it or not,” he told Economic Times in an interview.

His comments might be based on the U.S. economy and its worst recession since Great Depression, but California resident Adams could well be looking at India and Indians from the same entrepreneurial prism going forward. And future Dilbert strips could see India and Indians depicted differently. Adams says that Indians have moved far ahead of the image of the smart, yet inexperienced office intern Asoka, who is one of Dilbert’s colleagues. An IITian by qualification, Asoka has been bestowed with psychic powers but continues to work for someone. But this might change soon. “He’s the most confident person with the least power. Maybe, I’ll have him strike out and be an entrepreneur some day.”

“Trouble is that in order to be a good boss you got to be kind of a jerk, you got to be selfish and be willing to hurt other people to advance your own cause. I’m not like that. People try and take advantage of me pretty easily,” says Adams, who has for years entertained millions every morning with his wit on employer-employee relationships. Asked about the impact of the U.S. recession on Dilbert, Adams has his own and distinctive take.

“There are two things going on in the U.S. right now. If you don’t have a job, and that’s a lot of people, then things are pretty bad obviously. But those people who have kept their jobs, what they’re finding is that the price of stuff is lower. When you order something that used to take a lot of weeks to be built and get shipped to you, you’re getting it in a month. In a weird way, there are a lot of people who are moving into houses they couldn’t have afforded before the crash,” Adams added.

From a Dilbert point of view, the U.S. recession has done some good. “There’s a period when everything is great and it’s an employee’s market and they ask for more money or they’re going somewhere else. But right now we’re in a period, where obviously you want to keep your employer happy because finding another job is going to be hard,” says Adams. And this new insight has a source. Adams, who is building a new ‘green’ home in Pleasanton, California, is seeing attitudes change first-hand.

“You’ve never seen such good cooperation from all the sub-contractors. Everybody shows to work because there isn’t that much work to have. It turned out to be the very best time to build a house because everybody’s so eager to work. It’s strange because usually the upside is not very obvious. I’m sure during the Great Depression there probably wasn’t anybody who was better off.”

For the past 20 years Adams’ cartoons have ridiculed corporate workplaces and the ‘Cubicle life’ and everything around it, from management fads to consultants to evil bosses. But he says the central character of Dilbert borrows a bit from his own personality. “I certainly have shared some of his traits. I’m socially awkward and had trouble getting dates when I was his age, and a bit nerdy, so there’s a lot of me in him. But I am more of Dogbert, the side of me that has a running conversation in my head saying inappropriate things. I use Dogbert as the character who says out loud the things I’m thinking.

The next time you arrive late for work; don’t start giving excuses to your boss, for a new study has found that employers don’t believe excuses for not coming on time. The study involving 1,000 employers showed that just seven percent of them trusted the reasons that their employees give for being late.

One in five respondents said long, over-complicated stories were the biggest giveaway. Almost a third said avoiding eye contact was another hint. A fifth of bosses said hearing the same excuse again and again made it less convincing; while 12 percent said any excuses given on a Monday morning were even less believable. Nearly two-third of employers believe that they were experienced enough to tell when an employee is lying about why they were delayed.

The researchers also uncovered 10 weakest excuses. Topping the list was being unable to shut a window. Then came a broken burglar alarm followed by sick pets, spillages and, at number five, claiming to be snowed in. However, female employers were found to be more trusting, with eight percent fully believing the excuses staff give compared to just six percent of male bosses.

“As a nation, problems within our homes certainly seem to be a common reason given for lateness,” the Daily Express quoted Mike Pickard, Head of Risk and Underwriting at UK based Esure Home Insurance, which compiled the study, as saying. “If we are to believe even half the excuses included in this study, then we anticipate a lot of calls about emergency home cover or claims for accidental damage this winter,” he added.