Congruence means that all parts of your body are in total alignment in what you are doing at the moment. It means to have such rapport with yourself that what you say comes powerfully from within and can attract and influence others before a word is spoken.
The best way to explain congruence is you are involved in one activity and your mind or body is engaged in another activity. Suppose, you are busy in brain storming meeting of the company and you are thinking about home, family and friends, and outstanding bills etc….It means you are divided .Your 100 percent attention is not found in the action.
Congruence is total concentration in what you are doing. Suppose, you are making love with your wife then you are totally involved in this act of loving. Suppose, you are drinking coffee that means you are with a cup of coffee. Your five senses are deeply involved in that action.
We are not in congruence that is displayed non-verbally by us. We follow glancing, tapping floor, stained voice, touching cell phone, clearing desk, searching papers, touching remote of T.V. These non-verbal behavior disturb clients and people around you. Of course, it damages us first, by results which we produce. Sometimes, other side takes these signals differently and interpret it wrongly, which is never your objective. Non-verbal communication has significant impact in the relationship.
Think about the experience, where you were divided in two or three parts and what happened to the action?
I would suggest to attachment and detachment techniques. Some people carry home at the work place and carry work at the home. And, they lose the charisma of both the places. Finally, they find themselves scared and irritated.
The first thing to do in congruence is that to notice yourself clearly as what is happening, so that you can decide your next course of action. Please do it before it is too late.