People as busy and stressed as lawyers often do not take the time to check in with themselves periodically about where they are in their lives. They tend not to stop and ask what is giving meaning and value to their lives. Sometimes the idea of doing so is frightening because of what they think they might find. In my coaching practice, I do meet many lawyers who want to make some adjustments about the way they are living. Most of the time the fear is unwarranted because even the smallest adjustment is all that is needed to make a world of difference. It's not a matter of giving up the life you know. Unless it is a health issue, even when large adjustments are indicated, it is not necessary to make major life changes overnight. Everything can be done gradually, step by step. Life is a journey and there is something to glean at every stage. In fact, most people live much longer than previous generations and therefore have opportunities to develop and express many aspects of their personalities, talents and interests.

Take 5 minutes to do the following exercise. I promise the return on that investment (ROI) will be manifold.

Balance Wheel
Pick 8 words from this list or add your own words that represent the most important areas of your life. family, health, fun, work, financial, friends, partner, vacations, community, recreation, personal, development, spiritual, career development, work environment, home environment, support, system. Again, let the words mean what you want them to mean. Place the words on the spokes of the wheel. Place your 8 words at each spoke and place a mark on the spoke to indicate your degree of satisfaction at this time in your life of that particular item. For example, if your spiritual life is making you happy, you may want to indicate it as near a 10 (a high level of satisfaction). If you are not happy at work you may markt it a 2, near the 0 at the center (a low level of satisfaction). When you are through, connect your dots and notice how balanced or unbalanced your wheel is.


Now that the picture of the balance in your life at this moment in time is in front of you, ask yourself which of those areas are priorities to improve and which are fine as they are. Make a plan and a commitment to take only one or two small steps a week toward getting the balance you want. Does it mean making a weekly date with your spouse and/or your children? Might you be more careful in the clients you accept? How about phasing out some of those who make you miserable? Does it mean taking brief breaks throughout your day to refresh yourself by focusing on something of interest other than work? Perhaps a time management structure would make a big difference. Would you like to do something spiritual like taking a class or attending religious services? Does it mean developing a hobby or at least subscribing to a magazine featuring an interest of yours? What about music, listening to it more, learning or playing an instrument? Does it mean planning what you will do in the next stage of your life?

- Article by Dorene Lehavi Ph.D

First, let me ask you this. Are you assertive? Do you even know what assertiveness is? Many people think that they know and others have never even heard of it. The rest of us have to put up with these two groups. Or do we?

There are three basic types of people. They are Passive, Assertive and Aggressive. These types often overlap within individuals and may even vary depending on the circumstances in which these individuals find themselves.

You often find that the passive people recognise themselves quickly and even some of the assertive people will choose a category for themselves here based on characteristics that may not be obvious to the rest of us. However, the aggressive people often see themselves as assertive, confusing the ability to stand up and express their views as an equal with their own tendency to shout others down and try to get your own way all the time. For this reason, you seldom see aggressive people going to assertiveness training, and when they do, people wonder why.

Aggressive
Aggressive people are inclined to impose their will on anyone who will allow it. They become quarrelsome and even belligerent if they do not get their way. They see their needs as the only important issue and do not even consider the needs of others.

Aggressive people need to stop putting themselves first all the time. In fact, there is very often no second place. They need to modify their behaviour by reducing their tendency towards fierceness. This will actually improve the level of cooperation experienced by the aggressive people, as others will be more inclined to respond positively to a more agreeable attitude.

Passive
Passive people are inclined to be submissive, to give in to others too easily, thinking that the opinions and needs of others are more important. They are reluctant to speak up and express their opinions and needs.

Passive people need to learn how to express themselves and balance their needs against those of others, maybe even putting their own needs before those of others occasionally.

Assertive
Assertive people speak up for themselves without imposing themselves on others. They recognise that they have the right:

• To lead as good a Life as they can provide for themselves.
• To be themselves.
• To express their opinions.
• To make mistakes.
• To be treated well.
• To say no.

Recognising that you have these rights is only part of the story. You must recognise that others also have these rights. You must also learn to communicate your needs to others when the need arises.

Now answer the question I asked at the beginning. Are you assertive? I am glad to say that most people are there or there abouts. Assertiveness is something that has to be worked at and practised. So if you do recognise yourself in the other two categories don’t lose heart just work at improvement and remember that nobody is perfect.

- By: Maggie Musgrave

Ideal Personality means a Complete, Perfect and Flawless Person… Possible??

How come a person is complete?  A person grows in six areas of life – Health, Wealth, Family, Society, Mind and Soul. The growth is a comparison between the level today and the level yesterday. The level of good health, level of wealth, level of family happiness, level of social acceptability, level of mind development and level of soul purity. If you are growing in all above six areas, you are attaining more success and developing a better personality. All these six areas demand equal priority. Suppose you are earning good money and not keeping good health or you are keeping good health and not socially acceptable and so on… means you are incomplete. To check the balancing of the growth in these areas, check the following:

Approximate Percentage of your efforts, time and planning for the following areas:
1.	Health	100	75	50	25	0
2.	Wealth	100	75	50	25	0
3.	Family	100	75	50	25	0
4.	Society	100	75	50	25	0
5.	Mind	100	75	50	25	0
6.	Soul	100	75	50	25	0

 

 

 

 

Have you stopped to think what your favorite quotes are saying about you and your life experiences?

How you relate to them? How they relate to you?

Today... I decided to take one of my favorite quotes and see how it applies to me. You may want to do the same thing.

This quote by Louis L'Amour is one of my favorites...

"Up to a point a man's life is shaped by environment, heredity, and movements and changes in the world about him. Then there comes a time when it lies within his grasp to shape the clay of his life into the sort of thing he wishes to be. Only the weak blame their parents, their race, their times, lack of good fortune, or the quirks of fate. Everyone has it within his power to say, "This I am today; that I will be tomorrow."
-Louis L'Amour

I can look back and see how my life was shaped by early environment, heredity and changes in the world around me.

My life was shaped by my parents, friends, schools, experiences, injuries, where I lived, moves I made, and treatment from others, all had an effect on me.

Some experiences affected me deeply. Some of these emotional feelings remain with me and affected me later in my life.

There came a time when I realized I control my own reality with my thinking, imagination, ideas and actions. What I think about and focus on creates my reality. My thoughts and imagination cause my actions. So I began to shape my life. Knowing, I control what I can DO...BE... and HAVE.

That's when I made the most progress in my life, when my ambitions and goals came to the surface. I decided what I wanted to do with my life. Many times these were goals and dreams I had at an early age.

Sometimes, my early goals and desires faded into the background, but were still in my memory.

I know people who habitually blame parents, environmment, race, color, location or anything else they can think of except... where the blame should be... On them!

No one else is to blame... I take responsibility for the good and the bad in my life, because, I create my own reality. It's a weak person who blames everything on somebody or something else.

The things I put off are my own fault. I can't blame others, or my environment for not taking an action... because, now I see clearly...

I Create My Own Reality!

My point of power is Now... Today! I can't change the past. The present moment is where I can make changes for my future. My thoughts, imagination, ideas and actions today, create my reality tomorrow.

I become what I think about all day long. That determines what I will do, be, and have tomorrow and in the future. I create it!... I'm responsible for the good and the bad. What I focus on becomes my reality. That's true for any and all areas of my life.

And... I believe it and accept it!

by Bill Parks

A year ago, I made a trip to the village of my birth, a small community in the Haitian countryside. I had been away in America for many years, working hard to make my way in the world. I returned now to my island, filled with strange stories to tell: Stories of markets piled with food flown in from around the world, stories of doctors who gave out pills to stop people from eating, and stories of cars so abundant that they clogged the roads and slowed the traffic to the pace of a bicycle.

I told my fellow villagers,  “You know, American problems come from having too much, rather than too little. And because of these problems, they have what they call stress.” They couldn’t believe me! They had never heard of stress before and neither had I until I came to this country.

Shortly after returning from my trip, while eating in an expensive restaurant, I watched a woman send a Porterhouse steak back to the chef because it had been cooked medium instead of medium-rare. Later, I watched a man who was dining with her struggle to decide whether to have orange sherbet for dessert and stick to his diet or splurge on an ice cream sundae dripping with caramel and piled with pecans. Does any of this sound familiar?

You are not alone. Many times I am faced with such dilemmas. But I see it as an opportunity to be thankful. How? I imagine a mountain of breadfruit! Do you know what a breadfruit is? You don't often see them in American grocery stores. On the outside, they look a little like a pineapple. But they taste like a tough, extra-starchy potato. As a child, I ate almost nothing but breadfruit.

The folks in my village learned to cook it creatively. We boiled it, we fried it, and we beat it to a pulp and dipped it in sauce. But every day it was breadfruit. My tongue grew so accustomed to breadfruit that I ceased to taste it at all. I ate it only for survival. My stomach was perpetually bloated as it struggled to digest all the starch. I suffered from constant indigestion, and parasites regularly invaded my weakened digestive system.

Have you seen those children on CNN or the Sally Struthers commercials? How did you feel watching the naked children with swollen tummies and skeletal arms, ignoring the flies crawling on their faces? Well, that's what I looked like in my village in Haiti. Most people assumed I would die before I reached adulthood. They even told me so.

So when my steak arrives a little too well cooked, or I have to choose between ice cream and sherbet, I give thanks to God for the great fortune I've had in America. When was the last time you took a moment out of your busy schedule to give thanks for all that you have? Do you cry for what you don’t have? Or do you celebrate what you have? Gratitude is the gateway to happiness.

It is impossible to be grateful and unhappy at the same time. I bet you enjoy helping out a grateful child—one who is always thanking you and praising you for your generosity. Well, that’s the way your creator feels, too. Stop and count

 
your blessings!

I wish you incredible success!

By Rene Godefroy

Over the last 15-20 years, the context we work in as managers and leaders has changed dramatically. Seeing leadership in context is critical, so it is worth reminding ourselves of the incredibly challenging environment we are all working in today and why the job of managing and leading organisations and individuals can be so difficult.

In the last two decades, we have become a global service and information economy, the impact of technology on individuals and organisations has been massive, consumerism is now rampant, and the shifting size and composition of the labour force is having a significant effect. So as leaders and managers, in both the public and private sector, we are under enormous pressure to get more from less, to pick up the pace, to transform our organisations, to compete in this new world where, because we are a service economy, all we have to do that with is our people. And they are changing in their expectations of what they want from their working life, adding to the complexity of the job of a leader and manager.

Knowing/doing/being – the extent of managerial capability required today
As we move from a 'command and control' model of management to a transformational model, we now expect managers to be able to hold together the task and the purpose as well as the people to be truly effective, and an organisation will no longer tolerate an ineffective manager. It is a tough time, requiring new ways of both thinking and operating because the reality is that in this new world what made us successful in the past will not make us successful in the future.

Not only are leaders now expected to stretch themselves to build their own skills more broadly, a key role for an effective leader today is also to build the capabilities of those in the organisation. Increasingly, this requires that we coach our people to be better on a daily basis and the quality of this coaching relationship enriches more formal training.

The reason coaching is so important today is that 'knowing' something is not enough any more. Of course, it is important that we have the technical skills and knowledge around marketing, finance, strategy, etc. but we also need to be focusing on our 'doing' – how effective we are, because at the end of the day, a good leader needs to be able to turn a vision into action. Then, of course, as the emotional intelligence movement over the last 5-10 years has been addressing, we also need to focus on who we are, or 'being', recognising the importance of interpersonal skills and teamwork as well as personal and professional integrity and congruence. We can't as leaders and managers operate as one-trick ponies, we need a repertoire of skills that we can draw on depending on the needs of the market, the organisation and its people.

The mythology around leadership is one of the key constraints to improving effective management
In this new world, an additional hurdle we need to get over is to challenge some of the myths out there around leadership as these can hold us back from impacting as fully as we can in our organisations. For a start, the leader as a charismatic hero doesn't serve us well today in a world where expecting someone on a white charger to come and save the day is unrealistic. Nor does the myth of the leader as the expert help us in today's complex environment because no one individual knows the answer – the leader's ability to draw out new insights from individuals and groups is a more valuable skill.

A number of leadership stereotypes focus on decisiveness, fast analysis and making snap decisions, but if a leader is too decisive they can settle on the solution too soon. Leaders today need to be able to live with uncertainty and ambiguity or there will be no new answers. And new answers are what leaders and managers are required to deliver today, our economic and social prosperity depends on it. That is the bottom line, we need leaders and managers with the capability to deliver these in our organisations. That will require that we develop and support them in ways that build their leadership 'knowing/doing/being' capability throughout their careers.

By Penny de Valk

It is so simple and so easy to get what we want that we have a hard time to believe it. We are programmed to do things the hard and difficult way, in order to get what we want. We can not believe that we can get anything without hard labour, sweat and tears, obstacles and misery.

This is nothing else but a tough old programmation, a conditioning from our childhood. If you are like me, you were bombarded as a child with expressions from adults about how hard life is and how we have to struggle to get something. We were submitted to a hazardous universe or a God of revenge who could pick us out without any reason to take revenge on us for something we did wrong. We needed to avoid being bad or wrong, but disease could strike us anyway. Sometimes they even said : “It’s again a good one who’s punished, and the bad one take off easily like usual without paying anything!”. We learned that life wasn’t fair. We lived in fear and thought life was a valley of tears, fear, struggle, pain, disease and death?

How would it have been if they’ve told us the truth? The truth, nothing but the truth? That life is easy, wonderful. That miracles happen all the time and that we have the power to make them happen in our own life! That the universe loves us. That there is wealth and health for everyone. That we don’t live in a universe of scarcity but of abundance. That we only have to put the right thoughts in our heads to make these dreams real for us.

What would your life have looked like if your parents and teachers would have taught you the truth?

You would have suffered much less! You would not have believed you were less than nothing. You would not have been filled with fear over your ears of getting sick or failing, of being stupid or being not good enough.

If you would have known from the beginning that you were a creation of the Creator, that you will always remain, that you will always be around, that you were created for a reason, and when you find this reason you will be happy, what would your life look like now? If you were told that you had talents, unique qualities, that make you a special person, and that you are on earth with the mission to offer these talents to others, where would you be right now and what would you be doing now?

Isn’t it nice? The Genius who created this whole thing did really well : we are sent to earth with a mission and to be able to assume our mission we are already fully equipped from the beginning : we are gifted with natural talents and all we have to do is develop our talents and offer them to the world! Simply said, we have to do what we can do easily already and what we are talented for, and than happiness, satisfaction, love, money and everything we want comes flowing our way!

It is so beautiful, this concept! All we have to do is to do what we love! And of course we need to stop once for all to think we don’t deserve happiness or wealth or health. All these thoughts are wrong because they go against the principles of creation of the Universe.

We are already wonderful! We are already loved! We are already rich! We are already free! We are already intelligent! We are already healthy!
Why? Because we were all this before we started our life. It is the way we really are. It is the way we were created, we were born. This is the truth about ourselves. Everything else is “learned” afterwards.

The good news is whatever is learned can be un-learned. Every programmation can be changed and replaced by a new program.

And again, life is wonderful, because a positive thought is 10,000 times more powerful than a negative thought. So you don’t have to take another 40 years to undo the negative conditioning in your head. One positive thought can counterbalance 10,000 negative ones.

Can you imagine? Aren’t we lucky?
If you choose to do so, you can rapidly turn around your negative program in your head. Go to the bookstore, buy some books with positive thoughts, put them at every toilet in the house, in the bathroom, in your bedroom, in your living room, and read them whenever you think of it or see them. It doesn’t matter if you read one page after another or if you just open the book as it falls in your hands. The message you will receive will be the right one for you at that very moment.

Every morning you start your day by saying thank you to the Universe for your bed, your house, the roof over your head, the people living with your, the water coming out of your tap, the light switching on by a simple gesture of your hand, the food available, the choices you can make that day, the love you received in your life and the love you will receive, the miracles which will happen today and the air you can breath.

In your car, listen to CD’s or cassettes with positive programmation. Listen to them while you make dinner, clean the house or iron your clothes.

Surround yourself with positive people and stop nourishing negative social talk. Don’t watch television unless there is some really positive program.

There is a lot you can do to take a positive turn in your life. Don’t think you can do nothing. You are responsible for your life now. Make your choice! Know that every thought you think is either one which will weaken you, or one which will make you feel stronger.

The choice is yours!

Written by Ineke Van Lint.

If greatness is your goal, whether in your business life, your personal relationships or your own personal growth, here are some guidelines to get you on your way. Greatness is possible! You can achieve the goals you set for yourself and you can make a difference in your own life and those who live and work around you! Set greatness as your goal! Here’s how:

Identify greatness for yourself. While there are some basic generalities that most people would consider great, there are broader definitions of greatness, ones that each individual sets for him or herself. For example, most people would consider Mother Theresa great while only some would consider Donald Trump great. Helping humanity is a broad generality while building a real estate fortune isn’t. So what you need to first do is ask, “What does greatness look like for this company, organization, family or for myself?” From there you can develop values and a mission statement etc. But if you don’t first identify it, you’ll never reach it.

Maximize targeted end results. As Covey says, “begin with the end in mind.” What end results do you want. Be specific. Come up with all of them. Maximize them. Leave no stone uncovered. Set out for yourself all of the goals or end results you must hit in order to reach greatness. Write them down, memorize them and distribute them broadly (if doing this for a group). Maximize your targeted end results!

Make distinction your endeavor. What is the endeavor of the great? Usually it is to distinguish themselves from the average. They seek to rise above the rest by the quality of their product or service. Everything goes toward the goal of making themselves distinct from the run of the mill. That is their mission. And in doing so, they make themselves great!

Map your effort thoroughly. The three most important words in real estate are “location, location, location.” In reaching a goal, the three most important words are “plan, plan, plan.” Okay, “execute” and “persevere” work too, but go with me here! Too many people wish they would achieve something but never write down a plan for getting there. When I want to go on a long trip I don’t just wish to get there. I plan on how to get there. I get a map, I figure out distances, times etc. Map out your goal thoroughly. This will help you achieve greatness.

Regularly take time for regeneration. Achieving greatness is hard! You will care more, work harder, and take more lumps and setbacks than the rest. So you will need to take time to regenerate so you can fight again another day. Your body needs rest. Your mind needs rest. Your emotions need rest. Your spirit needs rest. I firmly believe that a person who rests well can do more in less time than the one works without setting aside time for regeneration. You may be able to reach goals without rest, but somewhere along the line, you will fall harder and longer if you aren’t regularly regenerating yourself. So take your vacation time this year!

Have a strict evaluation process. Every plan and goal needs an evaluation tool. And it should be a strict evaluation process. This is how you objectively decide whether or not you are proceeding toward your goal. If you have the right evaluation tool and you look six months into it and you aren’t hitting the goals, perhaps you need to change the goal or the way you are going after it. The evaluation process is not to be underestimated in its importance!

Take somebody else with you. True greatness is not individual. The one who becomes great spreads the reward of greatness around. Incorporate many people into the plan and let them eat of the fruit of success. I live in an area that has literally thousands of millionaires created by a company that had a vision of greatness. And while yes, they experience the reward, the rewards then go out many levels through the whole community, from businesses that support our community to non-profit groups, churches, and schools. True greatness blesses those many levels away.

Learn to party! Party? Yes! What good is greatness if you can’t enjoy it? And not just the final destination but also the entire journey. Be sure to stop along the way and relish in your movement. Celebrate small and large victories. This keeps the sprit high and the big mo rolling! Spend the money, buy the food and blow up the balloons – it’s time to celebrate!

 - Chris Widener

What does that mean?

Simple…

You have a responsibility to create miracles in your own life. The responsibility lies on your shoulders. You cannot blame anyone else,and you can't look outside of yourself for someone else to create the miracles for you.

In this article, I'm going to break down the word "Miracle", because each of you have a responsibility.

As you read this today, my goal is for you to take responsibility and realize that you have the innate ability to create miracles.

So let's get started!

The letter "M" means Momentum, which is created by you. You must create Momentum in your life for yourself, for your Why, for your family, for your success, for your finances, for your health…

YOU create Momentum!

No one else will do it for you. You aren't a surfer waiting for the next wave to come in. You and only you must create your own Momentum to drive you toward creating your Miracle!

The letter "I" stands for Incentive. You must have something inciting you to action…your ultimate "Why". Why are you doing what you are doing? Why do you want to begin that business? An Incentive builds the foundation that keeps you focused on your Miracle. No doubt about it! But again, it is your responsibility to determine what your incentive is and how it will drive you toward your Miracle.

The letter "R" stands for Revelation. As you read this today, get a Revelation! It's your responsibility… no one else's. It doesn't matter who you are, where you came from, how much money you have… get a Revelation. YOU can and will create Miracles!!!

The letter "A" stands for Action. I know you've heard this before, but read this today, print it out and decide that you are going to take Action to create Miracles. Once again, no one will do it for you! Take the Action that you know that you need to take to create your Miracle.

The letter "C" stands for Commitment. Finally…once and for all…dive right into it…get Committed to your Miracle! It's your responsibility.

Inside you is a reason for why you are here…your Miracle… so Commit to it.

Go for it!

The letter "L" stands for Love. You must Love what you do. You must Love the Miracle that you are focused on creating. If your Miracle is all about money…you will fail! Your Miracle cannot be based on money. Your Miracle must be based on what you can do to impact the world, which will produce everlasting results. You will produce true Miracles! Don't let anyone else tell you what you must do for money. Love what you do and create your own Miracles.

The letter "E" stands for Energy. Your gonna need Energy to create your Miracle. There's no such thing as it "falling in your lap", "luck" or "winning the lotto" in a success mindset. It takes hard work! You need the Energy to take those daily action steps to create your Miracle.

Again, it is your responsibility to maintain your Energy to create your Miracle.

Miracle…It's your responsibility!

Creating 1,000 Millionaires One at a Time!

Are you next?

by John DiLemme

Several years ago, I used to think in a very linear fashion. I operated out of my left (analytical) brain quite often. About four years ago, after reading some very inspiring books and being open to the influence of some very special friends; I began to ask myself questions like "How can I imagine myself already having achieved this Dream or goal?" and "How can I learn from this challenge or lesson?"

The learning that I went through was some of the most important of my whole life. My right brain (creative, intuitive) began to "open up." Even when I didn't have an idea of what to ask, I would take whatever problem or challenge that I was having and turn it into a question.

Example: I didn't have enough money to pay my mortgage, so I asked myself "What ways can I imagine to pay my mortgage?" I chose not to worry or feel sorry for myself and just that was a major step. I chose to focus on the solution, not the problem. With awareness, I shifted, instead of forcing, my thoughts to an empowering outcome. I still felt the feelings of frustration as I began to shift my awareness, but I knew that these feelings were my ego struggling with my True self. As I stopped struggling, I began to notice my body felt more relaxed, my mind relaxed, and new ideas began to come to me.

I remembered some wisdom an old friend once taught me - "Whatever you resist persists." I chose to let go of the suffering feeling. That same old friend reminded me during my struggle of the following quote:

"Your suffering is the pain of holding onto that which no longer serves you."
*Kahlil Gabran

I thought about this for some time. My Heart told me it was time to let go... time to move forward with my life and my destiny. This shift has made a major difference in my life. I have seen it work with many people who attend my seminars, one-on-one clients as well as close friends and family members.

The result of having shifted my thoughts and feelings (not psyching myself up with motivational jargon or hype) was that I was easily able to increase my income! I found sources that I hadn't previously thought were possible.

I learned to sit with my feelings and learn from them, not run from them and force positive thoughts to "take over." I chose to listen to my inner voice - just like listening to your own child when they need your help. This my friends will make all the difference for you.

Allow yourself the time and patience for your innate voice and wisdom to flow through you. Picture a Lipton flow-through tea bag (an image that came to me while explaining this concept to friend recently - it was said in jest, but they got the idea!). Imagine wisdom passing from the Universe into you - like a rainbow of colors. The colors come to you from within - and allow them freedom to be heard, write them down, discuss them with your mastermind or dream team.

Your mind will provide answers to whatever you dwell on, so be mindful of what you choose to place your focus on.

Other examples of empowering questions you can ask yourself (or others):

How could my life be transformed if I did this thing I fear?

What in me has attracted these circumstances in my life, and how can I learn what I need to learn from them?

What are my most treasured memories?

How can I turn this __________ around? (insert your challenge or problem)

How can I have fun doing the things I need to do today?

How do I want to feel? (Also use the word choose)

What am I grateful for?

How can I add value to other people's lives?

How can I use in my intuition to gain more clarity in my life?

How can I express from my Heart and Spirit how lucky I feel to be alive?

How can I be a force for good and help solve problems and make this a betterworld? (especially for our children!)

As you can see, the list is potentially infinite.
What do you stand for?
Who are you?
How can you make a difference in this world?
How can you add value to someone's life today?
How can you regain your ability to look at life with wonder though the eyes of a child?
How can you use your innate genius and creativity and live the life you've imagined?

Awareness
Just be aware of your thoughts, and breathe and ask yourself empowering questions. Honor your feelings and listen to them, they are your friends, they have much to teach you!

Have fun...! Laugh out loud (it's great medicine!) and remember to breathe...

by Paul Bauer

A year ago, I made a trip to the village of my birth, a small community in the Haitian countryside. I had been away in America for many years, working hard to make my way in the world. At the time, I have heard the term dealing with stressful changes.

I returned now to my island, filled with strange stories to tell...Stories of markets piled with food flown in from around the world, stories of doctors who gave out pills to stop people from eating, and stories of cars so abundant that they clogged the roads and slowed the traffic to the pace of a bicycle. Basically, I was telling them about the stresses, changes and the lack of gratitude.

I told my fellow villagers,  “You know, American problems come from having too much, rather than too little. And because of these problems, they have what they call stress. And they take trainings called stress management. They also takes classes on how to cope with changes.”

They couldn’t believe me! They had never heard of stress before let alone stress management in the workplace. To them changes are just as normal as the sunset. You know what? I had not heard of those terms myself until I came to this country.

Shortly after returning from my trip, while eating in an expensive restaurant, I watched a woman send a Porterhouse steak back to the chef because it had been cooked medium instead of medium-rare. Later, I watched a man who was dining with her struggle to decide whether to have orange sherbet for dessert and stick to his diet or splurge on an ice cream sundae dripping with caramel and piled with pecans. Does any of this sound familiar?

You are not alone. Many times I am faced with such dilemmas. But I see it as an opportunity to have an attitude of gratitude. How do I do that? Well, I imagine a mountain of breadfruit! Do you know what a breadfruit is?

You don't often see them in American grocery stores. Breadfruits on the outside look a little like a pineapple. But they taste like a tough, extra-starchy potato. As a child, I ate almost nothing but breadfruit.

The folks in my village learned to cook it creatively. We boiled it, we fried it, and we beat it to a pulp and dipped it in sauce. But every day it was breadfruit. My tongue grew so accustomed to breadfruit that I ceased to taste it at all. I ate it only for survival.

Have you seen those children on CNN or the Sally Struthers commercials? How did you feel watching the naked children with skeletal arms, ignoring the flies crawling on their faces? Well, that's what I looked like in my village in Haiti. Most people assumed I would die before I reached adulthood. They even told me so.

So when my steak arrives a little too well cooked, or I have to choose between ice cream and sherbet, I don't sweat it. I give thanks to God for the great fortune I've had in America. When was the last time you took a moment out of your busy schedule to really have an attitude of gratitude for all that you have?

My friend, take it from a once malnourished child in a Haitian village. The best solution for stressful changes in the workplace or your personal life is to simply be GRATEFUL. Gratitude is the gateway to happiness. After all, it's good to have a job.

Those on the umployment line can testity to that. Yes, you should always strive for more. But more only comes when we are grateful for what we have. Does that make sense to you?

Did you know that it is totally impossible to be grateful and be stressed out at the same time? Ah! Now grab a pen and write everything you should be grateful. I mean write everything down even if it's ridiculous. Don't let your intellect slow you down. WRITE EVERYTHING DOWN!

I bet you enjoy helping out a grateful child—one who is always thanking you and praising you for your generosity. Well, that’s the way God feels, too. No matter how bad things are, you still have plenty in your life to the grateful for.

Besides, if you think you are having it bad in this abundant land, I have some folks in my village who want to trade places with you. And remember to create your gratitude list. Trust me, don't dismiss this idea of creating a list. It is the best solution to take care of your stressesful changes.

So, there you have it. Whether it is stress management in the workplace or in your personal life, that will take care of it. Make a gratitude list and count your

 
blessings!

I wish you incredible success!

By Rene Godefroy

Benjamin Franklin once said, "There are two ways to acquire wisdom; you can either buy it or borrow it." By buying it, you pay full price in terms of time and cost to learn the lessons you need to learn. By borrowing it, you go to those men and women who have already paid the price to learn the lessons and get their wisdom from them.This is the essence of the mentor-protégé relationship. By going to people who are ahead of you in the personal or professional arena and opening yourself to their input, advice and guidance, you can save yourself the many months (maybe even years) it would take and the thousands of dollars it would cost to learn what you need to learn all by yourself.

M.R. "Kop" Kopmeyer, a respected success authority, once told me that perhaps the fastest way to get ahead was to study the experts and to do what they do, rather than trying to learn it all by yourself. In fact, he mentioned that no one lives long enough to learn every¬thing he needs to learn starting from scratch. To be successful, we absolutely, positively have to find people who have already paid the price to help us learn the things that we need to learn to achieve our goals.

The mentors you choose should be people you respect, admire and want to be like. The advice you seek should be guidance regard¬ing your character and personality and specific ideas on how you can do your job better and faster. Remember, you can't figure it all out by yourself. You must have the help of others. You must find men and women who will guide you and advise you on the road of life, or you will take a long, long time getting anywhere.

There are two vital qualities to look for in a mentor. The first is character, and the second is competence.

Character is by far the most important. Look for a mentor who has the kind of character you admire and respect. Look for a person who has high degrees of intelligence, integrity, judgment and wisdom. The more you associate with men and women who are advanced in the development of their character, the more you will tend to pattern them and to become like them.The second quality you look for in a mentor is competence. This means that the person is extremely good at what he or she does. A good mentor in your career is one who has the knowledge, skills and abilities to move ahead far more rapidly than his or her peers.

The impact of a mentor on your life is dependent on two additional factors. The first is your degree of openness to being influenced by another person. Openness is so important because many people, especially young people, are extremely impatient, always looking for shortcuts. When they get advice on something that another person has spent many years learning, they often try to add their own variations and improve on it without ever having mastered the original instruction.

Remember, when you open yourself up to guidance and input from another person, concentrate first on understanding and learning exactly what that person has to teach you. Afterward, you can modify and change that lesson to suit your changing circumstances.

The second factor that determines the influence of a mentor on your life is the willingness of the mentor to help you in every way possible to achieve your goals. We know that the more emotionally involved someone is in our lives, the more susceptible we are to being influenced by that person. When you seek out a mentor, you must look for someone who genuinely cares about you as a person and who really wants you to be successful in your endeavors.

So, for a good mentor-protégé relationship, you must be wide open to the influence and instruction of the other person, and at the same time, the mentor must be genuinely concerned about your well-being and your ultimate success. These are the two essentials.

Your ability to choose your mentors can be a crucial step toward achievement in all areas of your life. So here are 12 steps for building successful mentor-protégé relationships:

1. Set clear goals for yourself in every area of your life. Know exactly what you want to accomplish before you start thinking of the type of person who can help you accomplish it.
2. Determine the things you will have to do in order to achieve your goals, the obstacles you will have to overcome, and the roadblocks you will have to surmount.
3. Identify the areas of knowledge, skill and expertise you will have to acquire in order to overcome the obstacles existing between you and your goals.
4. Look around for the most successful people in the areas in which you will need the most help.
5. Join the clubs, organizations and business associations these people belong to.
6. Once you have joined these organizations, become actively involved and volunteer for responsibilities. This will bring you to the attention of the people you want to meet faster than anything else.
7. Work, study and practice continually to get better and better at what you do. The very best mentors are interested in helping you only if they feel it is going to be worth their time. You will have no problem attracting people to you when you develop a reputation for being up-and-coming in your field.
8. When you find a potential mentor, don't make a nuisance of yourself. Instead, ask for 10 minutes of his or her time, in person, in private. Nothing more. Remember, most potential mentors are busy people, and they may be opposed to some¬one's trying to take up a lot of their time. It's not personal.
9. When you meet with a potential mentor, express your eager¬ness to be more successful in your field. Tell him or her that you would very much appreciate a little guidance and advice to help you move ahead. Ask for an answer to a specific question, for a specific book or audio program recommendation, or for a specific idea that has been helpful to him or her in the past.
10. After the initial meeting, send a thank-you note expressing your gratitude and appreciation for his or her time and guidance. Mention that you hope to meet again if you have another question.
11. Each month, drop your mentor a short note telling him or her about what you are doing and how you are progressing. Nothing makes a mentor more open to helping you further than your making it clear that the previous help has done you some good.
12. Arrange to meet with your mentor again, perhaps on a monthly basis, or even more often if you work closely together.

Over the course of your life, you will have many mentor-protégé relationships. As you grow and develop, you will seek out different mentors, the people who can give you the kind of advice that is most relevant to your current situation.

Successful people are very open to helping other people who want to be successful. This is especially true if they know you are willing to be a mentor to others who are younger and less experienced than you. The more open you are to helping others up the ladder of success, the more open others will be to helping you.

 
by Brian Tracy 

In one of Houdini's most famous and spectacular feats, he broke out of Scotland Yard, even though one of the conditions of the challenge was that he be allowed NO clothing whatsoever -- in order to keep him from concealing tools or keys.So how did he do it?
Quite simple, really. Using a razor blade, he cut a small, invisible slit in a heavy callous on his heel. Under this tiny flap of hardened skin, he concealed a small piece of watch spring. Then, once he was alone, he used this little strip of metal to pick all the locks, then tossed the tool away and walked out!

Looking to capitalize on Houdini's immense popularity and fame, a London bank challenged him to break out of their vault with its new, state-of-the-art locking system. They were CERTAIN that even the great Houdini would finally meet his match.

Houdini accepted, and on the appointed date, the press turned out in droves to see if the master could get out in the three and a half minutes allotted.

This time he got to keep his clothes on. But he had another trick up his sleeve! His contracts always specified that before he disappeared into the trunk or cell or behind a small curtain (when performing on a stage), he could kiss his wife. After all, many of his feats were seriously dangerous, so who could refuse the couple what might turn out to be their last goodbye?

But what no one knew was that he was getting more than a kiss! As their lips met, his wife would secretly pass a small piece of wire from her mouth to his. Then, once he was alone or hidden behind the curtain, he'd use the wire to pick the locks.

This time out, though, the wire didn't seem to be doing the trick. Here's what Houdini wrote about that experience ... "After one solid minute, I didn't hear any of the familiar clicking sounds. I thought, my gosh, this could ruin my career, I'm at the pinnacle of fame, and the press is all here. After two minutes, I was beginning to sweat profusely because I was not getting this lock picked. After three minutes of failure, with thirty seconds left, I reached into my pocket to get a handkerchief and dry my hands and forehead, and when I did, I leaned against the vault door and it creaked open."

And there you have it. The door was never locked! But because Harry BELIEVED it to be locked, it might as well have been. Only the "accident" of leaning on the door changed that belief and saved his career.

It's the same way with all of us. The things we believe to be insurpassable barriers, obstacles, and problems are just like the bank vault door. The only lock is in our minds, and as long as we simply believe that we CAN'T, well, we can't. But when we give the door a push we can be amazed to find that not only is the door not locked to us, there's really no door at all, just the illusion of one.

We can all be master magicians. All we have to do is face whatever barrier seems to be looming before us, then take the first step, give the door a shove. The biggest obstacles are the ones we have created ourselves in our minds. When we give our focus to them, THEY become our vision -- and then they become real.

Mr. Wattles reminds us that "You cannot retain a true and clear vision of wealth if you are constantly turning your attention to opposing pictures, either external or imaginary." And he offers this encouragement, too: "No matter how tremendous an obstruction may appear at a distance, you will find that if you continue in the certain way, it will disappear as you approach it -- or that a way over, through, or around it will appear. What SEEMINGLY locked door is towering before you today, keeping you from your heart's desire?

Most people claim to understand the importance of goal setting in order to attain a better life, but in fact, approximately 80 percent of people never set goals for themselves. This is especially prevalent among people who are not involved in some sort of business or entrepreneurial endeavor that promotes goal setting.

Even more surprising, of the 20 percent of the population that does set goals, roughly 70 percent fail to achieve the goals they have set for themselves. And when you take into consideration the fact that many of these goal-setting people strive for easily attainable, small goals, it’s a wonder that anyone accomplishes anything remarkable at all in business and in life.

When it comes to goals, there are two categories: “be” goals and “do” goals. In other words, who do you want to be or what do you want to achieve? Within each category, there are four areas of goals: wealth, health, relationships, and self-fulfillment. So any goal you set for yourself will fall into one of these areas. When a business professional sets a goal, it tends to be either a wealth goal or a relationship goal. However, achievement involves all four areas, and success means finding balance in the four areas. In order to live a successful life, you need both “being” and “doing” goals in each of the four areas.

But before you rush out and set goals at random, you need to know what traps to avoid. The following are the top 10 reasons why people fail at achieving their goals. Avoid these roadblocks and goal attainment will be yours.

1. Fear of success and/or failure
Some people are afraid they will fail, or even worse, they may actually succeed. As such, they don’t even bother trying to attain a goal. Such people lack belief in themselves and in their potential. In their mind, if they fail, everyone will think negatively of them. And if they succeed, people will be envious and think negatively of them. So it becomes a “lose-lose” situation no matter how they look at it. But realize that you can achieve anything you set your mind to. Believe in yourself and your abilities and others will too.

2. Lack of understanding about the goal-setting process
Many people mistakenly believe that goal setting simply means putting a goal on paper, setting a date for completion, marking off checkpoints as they occur, and then starting all over again. Such a mentality hinders people from success, because a goal isn’t a one-time thing that you eventually scratch off a list. Setting a goal is really about changing yourself for the long-term. Goals aren’t short-term, quick-fix things; they are fixed and immovable destinations that show the world who you want to become or what you want to achieve.

3. Lack of commitment to the goal
Even though people state they want to achieve a certain goal, in truth, they’re really not committed to it. Because of this lack of commitment, they don’t give the act of goal attainment their full effort. And as with anything in life, if you don’t give it your all, you receive mediocre results. Commitment is crucial for attaining any goal.

4. Inactivity
After setting a goal, writing down dates, and setting checkpoints, some people stop. They never actually take that first step needed to progress toward their goal. But realize if you don’t get started, you can’t go anywhere. Without action, nothing happens. So if you’ve created a goal list and now wonder why none of your goals are transpiring, ask yourself what action steps you’ve taken to achieve your goals. If you haven’t taken any action, now is the time to start.

5. Analysis paralysis
Many people let questions and doubts paralyze them. They believe they can’t start on a goal until they have all the answers to every “what if” scenario. However, no matter how long and hard you prepare, you will never have all the answers to the questions you ask. Additionally, most people make their decisions and/or answer their questions based on where they are right now, rather than on where they want to go or who they want to become. Always base your decisions and answer your questions with a view to the future, not a view to current situations. Your situation will change because of the decisions you make today and will dictate the success of your journey. So move forward toward your goal knowing that you’ll never have all the answers.

6. Lack of a real destination
People often begin setting goals without a solid destination of who they want to become or what they ultimately want to achieve. But if you don’t have a destination in mind, then you’ll never know which road to take to get where you want to go. Your destination needs to be clear – something you can visualize and describe to others. Without such a clear view of what you want in life, you’ll be forever changing course and falling short of your potential.

7. Failing to plan
While many people understand the formula of goal setting, they don’t have a plan for goal attainment that’s personalized to them and their experiences. In other words, they neglect the gifts they possess, which can help them attain the goal, as well as the people they know who may be able to help them. We each bring so many unique talents and attributes to the table, and we know a multitude of people who can help us in some way. Be mindful of these advantages during your planning process and use the resources you have available to you.

8. Having too many goals
Some people have too many goals and not enough focus. It’s like they’re standing in front of a dart board with three targets in mind. Hitting just one target is difficult enough; hitting three targets simultaneously with one dart is impossible. Therefore, determine the one goal you are focused on and move forward with that one goal only. Eliminate other goals that are secondary. This is not to say that you should never have more than one goal. Rather, you need to realize that you have only so much time and energy. Therefore, chose the goal that will give you the highest ROE (Return On Effort) and focus on that one goal first. Once complete, you can then focus on other goals in sequence.

9. Feeling unworthy of the end result
Some people really don’t believe they’re worthy of attaining the goal. As such, they self-sabotage themselves. Perhaps they suddenly walk away from the key contact who will help them with their goal, or they neglect to do a critical activity that will enable them to achieve their goal. People who feel unworthy usually lack self-confidence, and confidence is the keystone to goal attainment.

10. Lack of motivation to change
Finally, many people are simply satisfied with what they have and where they are in life. As such, they don’t explore what else is available or what greater things they could achieve. Research tells us that there are only two motivating factors that cause people to change: Pain and pleasure. And even if someone is feeling pain in a situation, that pain may not be great enough, or he or she is simultaneously receiving ample pleasure, so the person doesn’t strive for more. Change and goal attainment only happen when you’re ready to break the status quo and truly want something better in life.

Goal achievement doesn’t have to be an elusive target. You really can be whom you want and do what you want. By balancing your goals into the four categories mentioned and avoiding the mistakes that hinder people’s results, you can achieve any goal you set for yourself and reach new levels of personal and professional success.

 
By Douglas Vermeeren

Work-life balance is about having some degree of control over when, where and how we combine work with our personal lives. A good balance is achieved when we enjoy a fulfilled life both inside and outside of our working arrangements, which is respected and accepted by everyone around us.

That said, how we go about achieving an acceptable work-life balance will vary for each of us – what may be a good balance for one person may be completely chaotic for another. In addition, work and home pressures can vary from day-to-day, week-to-week, etc. so it’s also about knowing what we need to accomplish in each area and continually evaluating how we’ll achieve that balance.

It’s important to remember that work-life balance isn’t only something that parents want or need. Most of us have interests, hobbies or other commitments that we want to devote time to - two thirds of employees in the UK rated achieving a good work-life balance as their top priority in a 2005 Working Families survey.

For work-life balance to work, therefore, it requires flexibility, co-operation and understanding from all parties and, when it is done successfully, it’s a win-win situation for all concerned.

Reaping the benefits
The business benefits of work-life balance include increased staff productivity; improved recruitment and retention of talent; lower rates of absenteeism; reduced overheads; improved employee and customer satisfaction. Research has consistently shown that employers who offer more choice in flexible working arrangements attract a wider pool of employees applying for jobs.

A recent survey by the DTI found that managers of flexible workers rated 96% of them as outperforming their full-time colleagues, so increasing their productivity levels. A further report by The Institute for Employment Studies shows some small businesses save up to £250,000 on their budget simply by using family friendly and flexible work policies.

For the individual, it means feeling valued, respected and more motivated. It also gives a positive message about the organisation’s approach and commitment to equality, diversity and inclusion and the wider corporate social responsible agenda and so enables people to feel good about the company they work for.

Facing the challenges
Sickness absence costs UK business over £2bn per year – 20% of which is estimated to be related to stress resulting from factors such as long hours and difficulty balancing home and work.

There is a common misconception that flexible working equals working less hours, which can lead to some employers feeling reluctant to engage with work-life balance issues. In reality, it is often more about how people work and so can be achieved by some simple reorganising rather than reducing working hours.

Changing working practices can lead to misunderstanding and resentment amongst colleagues - for example, if some people feel they have to pick up excessive workloads due to a colleague changing their working patterns. Open and clear communication is therefore vital for successful and equitable implementation, for example through briefings, intranet sites, company newsletters, poster campaigns, etc. It is always a good idea to directly consult other staff when introducing any new working arrangements that may affect them, and to regularly monitor progress and the effects these new arrangements are having on all concerned.

There may well be some initial costs involved, for example if you need additional employees for job-shares. However, these should be balanced against a reduction in other costs, such as office space and facilities for home workers and reduced recruitment and training costs as you will be retaining more staff.

Finally, there is increasing pressure from jobseekers to work for ethical and diverse companies who respect individuals’ needs both within and outside the company, and qualified and interested candidates are attracted to employers who are able to demonstrate that they value their individuality and are willing to work together to achieve the right work-life balance. If they don’t see that commitment from your organisation, they will take their expertise and knowledge elsewhere.

About the author
Karen Sadler

The president of my college gave the best speech any luminary ever could have at my graduation. Addressing the hundreds of students, he said that now that we were graduating, our success in life no longer depended on our I.Q., but rather on our F.Q. - our Failure Quotient; how many times we could be knocked down but keep getting back up and slowly moving forward.

I don't know if any of my fellow graduates remembered those words, but I never forgot them. I have seen over and over again in my life and in the lives of others how a high F.Q. is the key to success - the one factor that all people of accomplishment have in common.

Having a high Failure Quotient is a paradox; we aren't accustomed to equating failure with success. When we think of super-winners or super-successful people - whether they be superstar athletes like Michael Jordan, renowned politicians like Rudy Giuliani, or famed entrepreneurs like Ross Perot or Walt Disney - we usually think of them in the lap of luxury, at the top of the world, and at the height of ease and power.

Yet Michael Jordan is known as the greatest basketball player of all time for one thing: his ability to "turn on" in the fourth quarter; not the first, second or third quarter, mind you. But in the fourth quarter, when his team is often down, when things are most crucial, and when lesser players in sports - and more passive people in life - are ready to throw in the towel.

Everyone knows Rudy Giuliani as one the heroes of September 11th, the man who mobilized his city, and lifted our country and the world up out of the grip of fear surrounding one of the most traumatic events in history. Few people remember that just a short time before September 11, 2001, Rudy Giuliani's future had been discounted. He had to withdraw from the New York Senate race because of a diagnosis of prostate cancer. This was followed by a very public and messy divorce splashed across every newspaper column in the country and jibed at by every radio and T.V. talk show host on air.

Now ask yourself, on a scale of 1 to 100, at what level is Rudy Giuliani's Failure Quotient? How about Michael Jordan's? And most importantly, how about yours?

When we get a rejection or have a setback, it s very hard not to feel at least momentarily thrown off course. Yet I believe that a major benefit people receive who have gone through difficult life challenges is that no matter what other daily challenge they face, they can measure it against the larger life adversity they ve overcome, and put it into its proper perspective. Whether you ve been through a serious illness, loss of a loved one, divorce, or have been a victim of violence, the rest of your life you can benefit by using that experience to weigh everything else you face against it.

Here s a simple exercise that will make moving forward toward your goals and getting past obstacles, rejections, setbacks, and disappointments exactly one hundred times easier.

1) Before you start out on any project, whether it be seeking a customer if you re in sales, seeking a publisher if you re a writer, or seeking a mate if you re single, take a blank piece of lined paper and number each line 1 through 100. Make 2 columns if you need to as well as using both sides of the sheet.

2) Got it done? Now make multiple photocopies of this form for future use. (It s a long life. . .)

3) Now set out to do your goal or task. When you receive your first obstacle, rejection, disappointment or setback, put a checkmark next to number 1. When you hit your second obstacle, put a checkmark next to space number 2. The third, a checkmark on space number 3, and so on.

Now, here s the most important part:

When you start your project or goal, expect it may take 100 attempts to accomplish it! No, this is not a negative mindset. It simply acknowledges that you may need to try a number of approaches before you get something to work, or someone to accept you or your offer. Acknowledging beforehand that you re ready to put your all into at least 100 tries gives you the mindset of unstoppability.

I was counseling a lady on the phone recently who was going through a very complex legal struggle with an abusive ex- husband. She had gone to a number of attorneys, all of whom had told her she didn t have a case. I knew her situation and what kind of person she was. I also knew there were attorneys out there who would be willing and capable of helping this kind-hearted person, even if they would be hard to find. She was feeling frustrated and defeated, so I told her to make out such a 1-100 list. I also told her that I would feel sorry for her only after she got to number 100 without finding an appropriate attorney.

Guess what? By the time she had gotten to number 3, she found the perfect one! A "compassionate bulldog" who immediately lifted 95 percent of the stress off her shoulders of handling her incorrigible ex-husband.

What would her life been like had she not made that list? How many candles would we be burning a day to light our homes if Thomas Edison had stopped at failed experiment number 10,000, 20,000 or 30,000 instead of going on to do the 50,000 it required to invent the light bulb?

Don t hesitate. Make your photocopied 1-100 lists now. If you don t accomplish a specific goal by attempt number 100, give me a call. I ll honestly tell you how sorry I feel for you.

by Dr Michael Norwood

You Are More Capable And Brillant Than You Think!
As long you are not sure about your mission on earth, about the reason WHY you are here, about your main goal in life, you will feel like a ping-pong ball undergoing the commands of all your subpersonalities.

We all are a mix of different subpersonalities. These are different aspects of ourselves that take turns expressing themselves, and that may at times be contradictory. This split results in a sense of chaos and constitutes the most important hindrance keeping us from finding and implementing our mission. All of these subpersonalities are fighting for attention and keep us from focusing on what’s really important.

We have a lot of subpersonalities, parts of ourselves that are able to linger around due to a fatal mistake, a wrong idea we have about ourselves and this world.

This is the main trait of our personality, the central misconception around which all the facets of our personality are orbiting like planets around the sun.

The fatal mistake, the central misconception is an idea that is fundamentally flawed, and that can never lead to the real goal of your life. Just like everybody else, you are battling your central misconception but you’re aiming too high or too low. This battle is extremely tiring, it can’t be won and you are being distracted from the goals that matter.

Take for example somebody with the following central misconception: «I always have to do everything by myself». The subpersonalities revolving around this idea could be: the fearful who thinks she won’t be able to manage on her own; the accusing blaming everybody else; the complaining who goes on and on about how much she has to do in life without any support; the eternally fatigued crumbling under a load that is self-imposed; the diseased going from doctor to doctor hoping to find some miracle potion, and so on.

When you live in the illusion of being on top of your misconception, all of your “positive” subpersonalities will surface. You feel strong, happy, content, courageous, and self-confident and so on.

But as soon as you’re starting to lose ground to your fatal mistake, all of the “negative” subpersonalities rear their ugly head. You feel down, irritated, aggressive, depressed and so on.

For most people, this is the very business of their life: to prove that they are right concerning their central misconception. They say: “I told you I always have to do everything by myself!” and then follows a long list of convincing “proof”

.Other possible fatal misconceptions:

• Don’t expect anything and you won’t be disappointed.
• I am responsible for everything, and I have to make sure everything is under control.
• At their core, humans are bad and you always have to be on your guard.
• Living is a sad occupation, we are here to suffer.
• I will never be good enough, no matter what I do.
• I didn’t get the right education, and will always be less than another.
• I can’t do thing on my own, I need a husband/wife.
• I have to hurry, because there is never enough time.
• Nobody loves me.
• Nobody cares.
• I am worthless.
• Life is one big disappointment.
• I am not beautiful/handsome/smart enough.
• Without a partner I am abnormal.
• Without kids of my own I can never be happy.
• Life is a drag.

Here I invite you to write down the main misconception in your life, the fatal mistake around which all revolves.  You can discover your main misconception by going back in time to moments of enormous stress, where you felt completely deserted, did not know what to do anymore, were totally exhausted or raging mad. What’s that little sentence that comes up in those extreme moments? It’s always the same little sentence.

As long as your life is about this idea, you are on the wrong track and you will only exhaust yourself. This sentence represents a major misconception and it is a big bolder on your personal path.

This is a very uncomfortable, senseless and sickening way to live.

To escape from this prison, one needs to change course and focus on what really counts: your own personal specific reason of existence!

Let your life revolve around what it is that you have on offer for this world, and not around how sad and unfair life is treating you!

Be involved in re-dis-covering your spiritual core, your true nature. This is a way of life that will bring you joy, love, health and satisfaction!

You need to replace this misconception by another sentence that expresses your true, your Divine Nature, like : “I am a Child of God”,  “I am already perfect as I am”, “There is enough love for me in the world, I feel loved and I can give Love”, “Life is wonderful”, “I am a Light Person ment to spread Light around me”, “I am loved and there is as much help as I need”, and so on.

As it becomes clear who you really are, and the more you occupy yourself with what really matters, the more the central misconception in your life will lose its hold on you. You are so much more than just a collection of subpersonalities. Before you started playing these roles, you were already your own person. You are more capable and brilliant than you think. The truth about yourself is to be emphasized.

Everytime your misconception pops up in your head (usual under stress, pressure or fear), change it immediately by the truth about yourself!

Source :The Enthusiasmeinfo